I love Boston Terriers, but I couldn't eat a whole one....

For anyone looking to add a constant source of amusement to their lives, I thoroughly recommend a Boston Terrier. The deal also comes with obsessive paddle tongue licking, frequent flatulence and nasal vibrations that set off car alarms, but hey, even iphones come with hefty contracts, right?

Reprobate No.1 - Bosley:

AKA Boss Hogg, Senor Egg Butt, Snickle Potty Hump, Ned Noodle, The Black and White Bandit, Sad Sac, Crazy No.1, Bubbs, Penfold, Strange Botwin and Piggy Pants to name but a few.

Bosley's highlights include pinching food from unsuspecting toddlers (they're just the right height, and those pudgy digits equate to a poor biscuit grip), bum scooting (definition: when a canine's rear legs accelerate faster than the front legs, resulting in the posterior 'scooting' across the floorspace) and once yakking up roughly a whole carton of goats milk on someone's carpet.

He's the dog of a thousand expressions, most of them falling in to the grumpy old man spectrum and is frequently compared to a cat, a rabbit, a frog and 'that dog from Men in Black'.

Reprobate No.2 - Otto

AKA Maus, Otto Octavius, Otto Pants, Crazy No.2, Devil Mouse, Danger Mouse, Mauskavic, Stupid, err, ok, not as many as Bos, but Bos has got 3 years on Otto!

Otto's highlights include suckling / crying in to his stuffed snowflake (and eventually falling asleep standing up, snowflake still wedged in jaw), launching himself at seated guests with less regard for his safety than Johnny Knoxville and running through the park with a Frisbee looped over his head. At seven months old he still neglects to learn what 'no' means, terrorizes his older brother, and gives awesome high-fives.

These are our two boys. They provide us with endless entertainment, they wrench our lazy arses off the sofa and in to the park. Bosley and Otto, we salute you. Viva la Boston Terrier!